Once again, depression Pt.1

 I don’t know why am I feeling depressed, probably because I’ve been thinking too much, or probably because I can’t let go of something which used to be important to me. Life has been pretty much a hard time where the term hapinness doesn’t seems to appear at all. As for that, I’ve been asking the same question to myself, Am I feeling happy today ?

Had my mid-term exam for BUS 370 in the morning. I must say, it was simply intriguing, 120 multiple choice in 3 hours. Let’s work out some simple math with calculator, that’s 1.5 minutes per question. I started to feel abit drowsy when I’m attempting the 92th question. Time flies, 3 hours passed and I managed to finish off every single questions there. Woot a relief !

How to define the term ” happy ” ? I don’t really have a standard for the term – happiness, I can be a happyman for this minute, but for the next minute, I can get depressed easily. Someone told me, it’s best to hang out with group of friends, interaction helps alot in preventing depression. It seems to be true but there’s no 100% for it and somehow the term ” vise versa ” is likely to intercept and make thing worse.

It’s cool to hang out with group of friends. However, it can be so much a saddening case when you found yourself not in the circle, in other word, you’ve been ignored by your friends ! The state of ignorance, somehow a familiar place for me and yet I’m always enamoured to it.

I can still remember when I was a kiddo, hapiness is a very simple term to me. I was a happyboy everyday back then, never worry about my life, never worry about what’s going to happen on tomorrow. A lollipop, a pack of chocolates, an ice cream cone, a cup of caramel popcorn, simple but good enough to make me squeeze out a smile on my face, but that was in the past. I really missed the days when I’m still a kid.

The time when my mother stood up for me. I was grade 1 back then, a seven years old kid. Mom used to buy me hotdog bun for breakfast every morning, and she always put it in my mealbox. On a random saturday morning, mom bring me to state library and asked me to get a story book to read during the weekend. When I was scanning on the bookshelves, there’s some teenagers trying to block my way from going further. I’m scared, and wanted to scream out for my mom. My mom running toward my direction and as soon as she arrived, she comforts me ” don’t be scare, I’m here, we will walk this through together. ” And, she rescued me out from the crowd and she said something to the teenagers there. ” Don’t you ever do this to a kid, NEVER ! “

———————-   TO BE CONTINUED   ———————-

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